How Do You Do Santa?
03. Dec, 2008 
24 Comments
Your input is needed for this one.
The situation:
- News Flash: Santa is not real.
- The Scripture is clear. We are not to lie or bear false witness. We are also told to let our yes be yes and our no be no
The Problem
How do you reconcile these two things when your 3 year old is asking very detailed question about Santa? I am not trying to be holier-than- thou or uber-spiritual. Kari and I are just having a problem telling un-truths about Santa when we assure our girls all the time, “Mommy and Daddy always tell you the truth.”
Author Info
For the record, my problem is not that Santa takes the spotlight instead of Christ.
We do advent activities every day of December. We have a birthday party for Jesus, with birthday cake and all. And we keep our gift giving VERY simple. I am not worried about “Keeping Christ in Christmas.” I am worried about not telling the truth to our girls.
dude, I hear ya. My little girl is 14mo, so we have another year to think… But where is the balance between, “of course there’s no Santa clause, that’s rediculous!” and the whole Christmas Santa presents money thing.
Or, am I called to find a middle ground, or am I called to take the narrow road… Even at the expense of seeing my children have a “magical” Christmas like everyone else?
I think that there is a middle ground that we can take where we can tell them that Santa is a “fairy tale”, and people dress up like the fairy tale at Christmas. Then describe how it relates (as little as it does) to what Christmas is. I think that I would be able to tell Piper that Santa isn’t real, but she would still get excited to talk about him.
What do you mean Santa is not real? Where did you hear that? Just because you read it on the internet doesn’t make it true. I cannot believe you would spread such drivel.
man don’t make me think that hard – Christmas is already stressful enough! Can we talk about this in January?
We told Piper (who is 2.5 years old) tonight that Santa was pretend, just a nice man who dresses up and at the mall and gives presents. She said, “ok”. Then she said, “I hope he brings me lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of presents! I love Santa!”
So, you don’t need to lie, and they will be just as happy
It’s time to hear from a girl on the subject…when I was “younger” I asked my dad “Why don’t we believe in Santa Claus?” and Dad’s answer was, “Because we are Christian and we believe that Jesus is real, not Santa.” Of course I was sad b/c I thought, “Man, I never get to have fun!” But now, I LOVE THAT HE TOLD ME THAT! He was always honest and when I grew up one the most important things I looked for in a husband was honesty. Santa is a fairy tale just like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast and if I were 3 years old again I would probably accept that answer better.
For the love! I know I need not type at this time, but my finger (singular) just won’t stop. Don’t tell her Brent! We live in a world where the mystery of life and imagination is already sucked out of us by the western thought process and for the most part the Church just feeds the monster. Brent, let her believe….let her believe that the world is not as bad as the church wants to make it out to be. Let her believe that there are people….real or not…..that want to give and ask for nothing in return but good behavior. Maybe it would do us all good to believe in Santa again……Keep those scriptures in context to the body….not isolated on a island. Love bills
@ Bills:
“let her believe that the world is not as bad as the church wants to make it out to be. Let her believe that there are people….real or not…..that want to give and ask for nothing in return but good behavior”
Isn’t the world as bad as the church says it is? When we tell our kids that, and then follow it up with what Jesus did for the world, doesn’t it make grace that much more marvelous?
Also, Jesus (who is real) does give and ask for nothing in return but good behavior.
Why can’t we put all of our emphasis on Jesus and tell our kids that Santa is a fairy tail that we like to pretend about?
@ Bills. I am all for her having an imagination. She has a strong imagination about Goldilocks and the three bears. She dresses up as Goldilocks, plays “bears,” and can quote the story to you. But the pretend part of Goldilocks does not enter into reality. I do not tell her that Mamma bear prepared her oatmeal (porridge) in the morning. Although consistent with the story, it is a false statement. Just because it is pretend and we do not allow it to enter into reality does it it diminish her fascination for the GL and the 3 bears.
The problem that I have with Santa is that we take a pretend character and represent it as truth or reality. I am all for the pretend character. However I am not at all for telling un-truths to my daughter to whom I assure all the time, “Daddy ALWAYS tells you the truth.”
Not sure what you mean by keep the scriptures in context to the body. Honesty is certainly a virtue and expectation in the scripture and kingdom life.
Leave it to Bills to stir up the pot!
At the end of the day I think it comes to a decision based one’s conscience.
Ben….no the world is not that bad. Our (myself included) indoctrination into our children, youth and adults that nothing good comes outside the church or Jesus is partly why Christians are irrelevant in today’s society. I agree we should make it all about Jesus, but can’t we sprinkle a little imaginary fun into the lives of our children.
Brent: I get your point….you want to tell the truth. And yes, I agree that honesty is a virtue and principle of the KOG….i am not questioning honesty, although I don’t like one scripture pulled from an entire text used to illustrate a point. I got what u meant…I know your heart, just don’t agree.
Bills
Hey! Has anyone heard Tony Bennett’s new Christmas album? He sings the usual Christmas songs with the Count Basie Big Band. It’s great stuff to listen to whether you believe in Santa Claus or not. Just don’t listen to #8.!
As a matter of fact, our family listened to the new Tony Bennet album tonight while we ate dinner. It is a GREAT christmas album
Hey Brent,
I liked your thread and thought I would share what we believe and practice. I do believe in telling children the truth, but I always keep it appropriate to their age. When Connor asks me, Where do babies come from?, I will give the truth, but not the whole truth. I will tell him what is appropriate for a 3 year mind, not let’s say what Adam will explain later to him when he is 10. With that in mind, we tell Connor that there was a man called Santa Clause or St Nicholas, who loved Jesus just like we do. He loved Jesus so much and loved the gift that he was, that he gave gifts to children who needed them. He loved people because God first loved us. So each year when we celebrate Jesus’ Birthday on Christmas, we also celebrate a man who had a faith so strong that he loved people. We give gifts to those whom we love, give gifts to those in situations not a good as our own, and most importantly we thank God for the best gift of all, Jesus. Does Connor get that all yet? No way, but one day I hope that he sees how fun it was to see Santa each year, but also understands that we remember a man who once lived and gave so much to others simply because he loved Jesus. In the future during family devotions around Christmas we will celebrate others like St. Nicholas/Santa Clause who loved God, loved people, and loved the world.
@Jen, wow. Great comment!
Jen. I agree with Ben, great idea. Your approach is steeped in good and true historical tradition. But you also avoids my only problem… being dishonest.
So Brent, have you and Kari decided how you might handle the “Santa” thing with Avery?
I found you by way of Jenn. This is a great topic in which Justin and I hope to draw upon the wisdom of those who are going before us. We have a few years before Reed starts asking those daunting questions. My question to you: do you set out gifts for the girls from Santa? If you are leaning towards telling them the truth, that Santa is not real, then will you continue to give gifts from Santa or is this not a common practice in your home already? I ask because if you tell her that Santa is not real, but she continues to receive gifts from a fake being, will that be confusing to her? My friends’ mom always told them that Santa wasn’t real because she didn’t want a fake person to receive the thanks for all her hard work saving up for gifts on a single budget. I can completely understand her point. But, when I found out that Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny wasn’t real, I didn’t resent my parents or feel deceived. I kept up my end of the deal till my two sisters figured it out and they weren’t disgruntled either. I guess there is a possibility of her being upset that you lied but is that what you’re afraid of? Losing credibility with her if you lie about Santa? It’s possible. I love Jenn’s approach to the situation since it’s age appropriate for Connor. Can’t wait to hear what you guys decided to do!!
So here is what we are going to do….
We have full intentions of setting out presents on Christmas Eve and pretending Santa. But our kids will know the truth. So we will do our best to live in a world of pretend and a world of truth at the same time. Because I know our kids, I have every reason to believe that pretending Santa will bring as much joy as thinking he is real. And it also allows our conscience to rest in peace that we have not misled our children.
I think that this is an area of freedom and do not think any less of those who do the traditional santa thing. But this is where my conscience leads me and I must be faithful to what I feel God has called us to do, without judgment of others.
Oh, I like that, “pretending Santa.” Children do live in an imaginary world at times and need an outlet for it. Living “without judgement of others” and “in a world of truth” is what we are all called to do as Christians.
I like what you are doing with your girls! And thanks for sharing! Now, I have some praying to do!
Well since Lexi follows Brent’s blog I guess the gig is up for us too. THANKS BRENT.
For the record the Fowler’s do Santa. When our kids are old enough to ask, “Mom and Dad, is it really you?’ we tell them “Yes.” Our oldest will probably ask this year as she has dropped some questions close to that. Perhaps she isn’t asking because she doesn’t want a present supply chain to dry up. If she doesn’t ask, we’ll tell her after Christmas is passed so she doesn’t look like an idiot at school.
I did Santa growing up
Hey Brent,
I was told this a long time ago by my drama coach when she was dealing with her child and this issue. This is what we are going to do. We are going to tell Blayze that there are a lot of other people who believe in “Santa Clause and the idea that this “man” comes in your home when your sleeping and leaves you gifts. We will tell him that is not the truth…that is not what we are going to believe, and if anyone asks him or tells him different then he will be able to have the opportunity to tell them about Jesus.
Now, when it gets to the point of school time or others making fun of him then that is the time that we will tell him that because everyone believes differently and when another “idea” is presented then we don’t correct them. Basically, just let them believe what they will (for the sake of angry parents and your child telling their child that Santa isn’t real.)
Just thought I would add what we are going to do. We have not had to cross this path yet, and as difficult as it will be…to us it will be worth it in the end. The satisfaction of our children knowing that we always told them the truth rather than going with what the world wants us to do. Even family gets muffled at the idea of not having santa…”might as well not even have Christmas.” I would rather “ruin his Christmas without a santa” then to have him believe for a good while that “santa” is what Christmas is about.
Oh forgot to add that we will have presents set out for the element of surprise, but our children will know the presents are from Mommy and Daddy.
My wife and I take Ben Robie’s approach. We let them know Santa is pretent, but we like to pretend! It’s fun! There’s nothing wrong with imagination and having a great time with it! Play it up big if you want, but make sure your kids know the difference between what’s real and what’s make believe. My parents did that with me and it took none of the mystery out of the equation. I LOVED Christmas and still do! Still like to put presents from Santa under the tree, but my kids all know – it’s just for fun!